What Mama Kitty Taught Me

I lost my old Mama Kitty this week. How could such a little critter have such a big impact on my life? She was always small and in the end she weighed four scant pounds, but in life, her spirit was huge.

She was already full grown and had birthed several litters by the time I showed up in her life at the shelter where I used to work in 1994. Skittish and cautious, she was accustomed to life on the streets. Relying on people food and milk set out for her by the men in the shelter and what ever mice she happened to catch, I thought her size was due to lack of proper food.

Mama Taught Me Patience

When Mama had her last litter, she delivered three kittens. Only one survived. It drove me nuts that she was having one litter after another and contributing to the over population of feral cats roaming inner city streets. I became determined to get this cat off the streets and out of the kitten making business. But how? She wouldn’t let anyone come near her. Armed with cans of tuna fish, I began putting out small plates of it whenever she was near by. Eventually, she got used to seeing me and I could move the plate closer to me and sit near her while she ate. Finally, she allowed me to pet her. This made it possible to scoop her into a pet carrier and whisk her off to the vets where amazingly, she was given a clean bill of health. No fleas, worms, ear mites, nothing. After a round of vaccinations and an appointment to be spade, I took her home where she chose to hide in my closet.

Mama Taught Me Consistency Leads To Trust

Mama didn’t trust her new surroundings and so preferred to hide in the closet most of the time. Eventually, at night she would come out and hop onto the corner of the bed while I slept and curl up, only to jump down and run off to the closet again. She gradually over came her fears and began spending time out in the open and allowing me to pet her. Finally, she became accustomed to her new digs and took over the rule of the roost.

Mama Taught Me Stick Up For Myself When My Needs Weren’t Getting Met

Mama came to believe that she deserved to be loved and petted. She endeared herself to many a visitor to my home. I would have to warn them that if they began to pet her and stopped before she was ready, she would swat them and swat them she did. She wouldn’t use her claws but boy could she give you a good smack! Hard enough to make sound. She would also meow very loudly in order to get your attention if he food or water dish was empty. Many times I would pick up the dish to go fill it and she would chase behind me, swatting the backs of my feet and meowing as if to scold me for neglecting my duties.

Mama Taught Me That Sometimes Love Means You Have To Do The Hard Stuff

In her final weeks, Mama became weaker. I spent a lot of time with her just lying on my lap. Taking advantage of what little time we had left. She became thinner and weaker and each morning that I woke up to find that I had one more day with her was a gift. On her last day, I was sure that she would go on her own with in just a few hours but that was not to be. By early afternoon, it became clear that I was going to have to make the painful and difficult decision to call the vet and assist her on her journey. Those decisions are always tough. You spend time anguishing about whether or not it’s time, if it’s the right thing to do. Mama just seemed to hang on even though she couldn’t stand up. She didn’t seem to know where she was any more and was barely conscious.

My vet was very understanding and allowed me all the time I needed. That final ride was tough. I’ve had to take this ride before and it never gets easier, ever. I found my self reflecting on the parade of pets that have come through my life and how Mama was joining the ranks of the ones who are missed. I have a friend who was also considerably attached to Mama Kitty and he drove me to the vet’s office and then to drop her off to be cremated.

I hate it when it hits you that gone is gone. The realization always comes as a sharp pain. The day after Mama died, I heard a robin singing loudly outside. I went to the window and looked out. There it was on the neighbor’s fence looking up into the window I was looking out of and singing. I decided it was a singing telegram from Mama, a message that she had arrived safely at her destination and was happy in her new home. I will miss her for a long time but I believe I will see her again.

Start Engaging Others

So my good friend Rocky VanBrimmer is stepping out of his role as a Realtor and into a whole new world of On Line Consulting and Training. I highly recommend that you check out his site and sign up for future trainings if you are interested in learning how to use social networking and social media to boost your business or increase your internet presence.

I'm looking forward to learning new tricks from Rocky.

Catching Up

I have been neglecting you lately haven't I? For someone who isn't currently employed, it sure seems like I have a lot going on lately. I am doing a little bit of floor refinishing work for a friend. That's helped me keep my head just above water lately.

The quarter is over at school and the finals are done. So I can focus on finding real work. Hopefully I will be able to do more writing here. I went down to the Arts Festival Friday afternoon and just wandering through the different booths helped to get my creative juices flowing a bit more. I spent some real quality time with my thoughts while I was there. It's interesting to wander from booth to booth and just take it all in. One minute you are enjoying the serene colors of a landscape painting, imagining your self there floating in a boat. Then turn the corner into another booth and Pow! Your eyes meet with a cacophony of abstract paintings in exuberant primary colors. If you are like me, if art, music sound and color illicit emotional responses then you'll understand me when I say it's kind of like playing crack the whip with your mind or a cosmic whack to your creative self. I'm glad I went.

On the home front, I am preparing for two partings. I have a very old small and mighty calico cat who has quite a story behind her. She has been ill as of late. I borrowed some money from a friend so that I could take her to the vets this past week. The news so far is not good. She has an abdominal mass, and possible kidney failure among other issues. She's really too old to be able to with stand any real intervention to try and lengthen her life. I am trying to make the best of the time I have left with her. I will be writing more about her in a later post as I really want to honor this magnificent companion.

The second parting is my grand father on my father's side. He is my last surviving grand parent. In 2004 he was treated for T-Cell Lymphoma and recovered quite well until recently. His symptoms returned and the doctors have told him that his body isn't going to be able to with stand another round of the aggressive chemo that he was given before. So Hospice has been contacted and we are all trying to spend as much time with him as we possibly can. Grandpa is in his 90s and I lost count a long time ago of how many grand kids and great grand kids there are. We will probably wear the poor man out with our visits and some one is going to need to install a revolving door on his house.

Speaking of Grandpa's house, that place has some pretty special memories for me and I have been struck with how every thing will change when he is gone. I have spent every single Christmas Day for the past 50 years in that house. When I was a kid, my grand parents had the basement remodeled to resemble the old Kahiki restaurant here in Columbus. The remodel was complete with a water fall that has something in the water to turn it a glowing lavender color under the black lights. My cousins and I spent hours down there on Christmas Day. As an adult, most of my time was spent upstairs but our own kids got a chance to have their fun in the basement as well. It just won't seem like Christmas with out a brief trip to Hawaii just down a flight of stairs. I will miss that. His house is intertwined with him and my grand mother in my memory. I will be writing more about my grand father in the days to come as well.

So that's about it. What's new with you?

Remember Local Social Services When Times Are Tough.

When disaster strikes, Americans show their compassion and generosity whether her in the US or in far flung places. I am always humbled by the number of people who mobilize around a cause. The recent earth quakes in China and the Cyclones in Myanmar are just two of the most recent. Hurricane Katrina and 911 were US disasters that spurred Americans into action. But this generosity comes at a cost. Many people will forgo their regular contributions to local charities and take that money to donate it to an immediate need.

In have worked for local non-profits for some time now and I can tell you that these disasters have had a direct negative impact on them. Local charities depend on grants and donations in order to survive. So many people responded generously to Hurricane Katrina relief and found that they could not then turn around and make their annual donation to a local nonprofit. The timing was the worst possible scenario. So close to the Christmas Holiday season when nonprofits can depend on end of year donations that never came. The end result? Social service agencies had to lay off workers, close programs and cut back to bare bones minimums in order to provide something to the city's neediest.

Now with the economy being so bad, I am wondering how they are fairing. (I was one of the laid off so I don't know what's happening directly) It must be pretty bad when the news is reporting an increase in the number of families relying on food pantries and soup kitchens to make ends meet.

So imagine what I am thinking this morning when I read a report written by Tom Borgerding at WOSU news that Holy Family has lost $90,000 worth of that precious food because metal thieves have stolen the compressors to their walk in refrigeration units. It's bad enough that we have all these competing needs and there just isn't enough expendable income to go around and ensure our local social services stay afloat. But seriously!

An Open Letter to Liz

Dear Liz,

We didn’t abandon you sweetie. It was you that abandoned us. I didn’t even know that you had done so until your ex-husband called to tell me that you were in a motor cycle accident in another state, that you were in critical condition and not expected to live.

I was stunned to silence that drugs and alcohol would have taken you down that road. I know I shouldn’t be surprised anymore when I hear of these things happening but I still am.

So now you are calling to say that your family and friends have abandoned you. We are here, we just can’t watch anymore. I can’t watch you continue in this downward spiral. It’s too devastating. The worst part is that you know exactly where this will lead you.

When your ex first phoned me about your accident, I called all the wonderful women who know you. All of those women you met when you went camping with me. They loved you and accepted you and we all are your sisters. I can’t begin to tell you how many women lit candles and prayed to their God or Goddess for the best possible outcome for you. We prayed that if you would live, you would get well, get healthy, get clean, get sober and come back to us. If we couldn’t have you back, we prayed that you go quickly and not have to suffer any pain. We prayed that you would find peace.

So now here you are, you are alive and yet, you are only half alive because drugs and alcohol are stealing the other half. You are miserable and you want it to change but on your terms. You want to be able to have it all fixed and still keep using. It doesn’t work that way sweetie. We want you back, but only if you are willing to come all the way back. Only if you will get help and really do the deal of recovery because watching you now is just to hard.

I miss you Liz, I miss your energy, your loving spirit, the wonderful talks that we had. The shared passion of owning parrots, of caring for wildlife of being mothers of working for social justice and a better life for all. Remember when it was you and I who talked about how we wanted to make a difference in the lives of others who were trying to get clean and sober? We can still do that, but you have your own battle to fight first. Get well and then come home to us. We love you.

Hail Mary's and Josephine

Growing up Catholic creates certain opportunities for rebelliousness that might have other wise been missed. In the neighborhood where I grew up, there was an elderly woman named Josephine who lived across the street from my family. Josephine was an Italian immigrant that, in pure Catholic fashion, had a huge brood of children and spent most of her life caring for them.

She lived with her son and grandson and spent her days in the summer sitting on the porch watching the rest of the neighborhood. Josephine couldn’t read or write and by the time I met her, she had lost all her teeth. She preferred being barefoot on her porch which was one of the things that I liked about her. As a young girl, I didn’t mind spending time sitting with her on her porch but as I grew older and gained more freedom to leave my block, I spent less time on her porch swing.

There were times when Josephine could be down right annoying though. With six kids in our family, during the summer when we became bored, we would drive our mother to distraction. Once she had finally had enough, she would chase after us spatula in hand, ready to give one of us a swat on the back side. My mother would never spank us in public and knowing that, we would run out the front door and into the yard. Josephine, sitting on the porch would spy us running and my mother on our porch demanding we return to the house, would stand up and yell “Beat the hell outta those kids Sheila, the little brats!” To which we would yell back at her to mind her-own business.

Once in my early teens, there where times when I would leave the house on my way to be with friends, Josephine would yell for me to come and sit on her porch with her. When I told her no, that I was going somewhere, Josephine would angrily reply, “Go on then Little Miss Independent, I don’t want a snotty little girl like you over here any way.” She always called me Little Miss Independent like is was the worst thing in the world for a young girl to be. So Josephine poured gasoline on the fire of my rebelliousness.

Occasionally, on Saturday’s, my mother would agree to drive Josephine to church so she could go to confession. Not wanting to pass up an opportunity to ensure her children’s salvation, she would also drag along any of her kids who happened to be old enough to go to confession and weren’t lucky enough to be away from the house at the time. One of those Saturday’s, my older brother and I weren’t so lucky.

On the way home from the church, Josephine reached over tapping my mother on the arm, and asked conspiratorially “What’d you get?’” then with out waiting for an answer, she continued “I’ve got to say seventy five Our Fathers and a hundred Hail Mary’s. I’m going to die before I say all those.” My mother glanced up into the rearview mirror at my brother and I and said “Kids, if you two say twenty five Our Fathers and forty Hail Mary’s then Josephine will only have twenty five Our Fathers and Twenty Hail Mary’s.” She didn’t wait for a reply but I can tell you that I sat in that back seat, crossed my arms over my chest and glared at the back of Josephine’s head. If she thinks I’m going to say prayers for her, she’s go another think coming. Josephine could some times infuriate me. So could my mother. I think I eventually said those prayers over the years. I think of Josephine and that day every time I hear one of those prayers being said at weddings, christenings and even in the movies. I just think to myself, this is for you Josephine, from Little Miss Independent.

WOSU Public Media, DTV and help for Seniors

This is a really special project that I hope everyone will consider participating in.


WOSU Public Media has teamed up with Lifecare Alliance and Central Ohio Area Agency on Aging (COAAA) to provide converter boxes to low-income seniors in central Ohio. Many seniors live on a fixed income and can't afford cable TV and rely on local news for information. Lifecare Alliance provides Meals on Wheels to seniors and COAAA provides resources and services to seniors in the central Ohio Community.


You can help provide a converter box for a senior by going to the dtv2009.gov web site and requesting coupons for the converter boxes. When you get to the on-line form, check under TV service that *All or some of the TV's in my house subscribe to one or more pay services.*

This collaborative has special permission to do the project.


When you receive the coupons (it may take up to two months, so time is of the essence) you can drop them off at WOSU Public Media at 2400 Olentangy River Road, Columbus, Ohio 43210.



WOSU will purchase the converter boxes and provide them to Lifecare Alliance and COAAA. Their volunteers will distribute the converters and install them. The volunteers will receive training on how to install the boxes and are best suited to this job because they already have a relationship with the people they serve.


How cool is that? Please feel free to share a link to this page and encourage your friends to participate. Leave me a comment if you plan on participating in this important project.